Marlene says:

I’m a big fan of precise prose. I like saying exactly what I mean and I like when others do the same. On the other hand, sometimes poetry says things more completely. Daphne Gottlieb is really good at it, as you’ll see when you read this one.

(all texts from George Sodini’s diary and Craigslist’s Men Seeking Women personal ads, Sodini’s is italicized)

***

5’10” I seem 5’8” I seem 6’2” I seem dead. Tall, confident. I am slender and strong, most say handsome, all say friendly, I am single, most say fit. Well endowed. Young, hung and eager to please.

155 lbs, 178 lbs, 210 lbs I am a good lover, I cook good meals. Every evening I am alone. I go to bed alone. I raised the kids. I am single. Who knows why. I am not ugly or too weird. I am single, most say fit. Well endowed.

No girlfriend since 1984, I had a healthy love life. I haven’t even tried to meet anyone new. Most say handsome, all say friendly, all say Another lonely night, I’m done. This is too much. Eighteen years. No romance, no sex, no caring, no friendship. I miss love and sex.

What is it like to be dead? I just want to feel like I am wanted. I always think I am forgetting something. One time or more. I know this is a long shot. My lips would be sealed. Respectful and discreet. I am single. I think I am always forgetting something, Similar to when you get in your car. You hesitate. A thought: “what am I forgetting?”.

Similar to when you get in your car: I have extra money and enjoy traveling, too, through Brazil, Uruguay, Argentina, Chile, Bolivia, Peru, Ecuador, Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia, China, Pakistan, India, and Nepal. LA was the best! But going alone is not too fun. I entered a continent, wandered around. Moved on. Going alone is not too fun. I can’t trust anymore. I do miss being with someone. It hurts.

You know how deadly it is, when they just don’t understand. Flying solo is a destroyer. They just don’t understand. You have that sinking feeling. They never will. You know how deadly it is.