Marlene says:

I just learned about Minister Joe Beam, a conservative Christian preacher who teaches his followers that they should be having good sex!

I can’t help but feel good about this guy. He limits his positive attitudes about sex to married heterosexual couples, which isn’t really a surprise. I suppose that’s a good start. I like to think that people who are comfortable with themselves and their partners might be a little less uptight about the sex lives of others. Who hasn’t wondered if Anita Bryant might be a little more chill if she was getting done properly on a regular basis? As long as it happens within a heterosexual marriage and “does no harm to the body” Beam is OK with it.

Ol’ Joe is against anal sex. He would be OK with it if it were done without harming the body, but he doesn’t think that’s possible. Apparently, he believes this because of “medical evidence.” As near as I can tell, his understanding is that slight tissue irritation and minuscule tears resulting from anal penetration constitute “damage”. He isn’t applying the same standard to vaginal penetration as far as I can tell. I’m conflicted about this. I think his “no damage” standard sounds like a reasonable one, but if “damage” is interpreted on a nearly microscopic level for rectums it should be interpreted similarly for vaginas. I hope this isn’t representative of the quality of his advice. I can personally testify to the great miracle of LUBE for all types of penetration, but especially anal.

He gives advice on changing a man’s diet to improve the taste of his semen. He regularly quotes the Song of Solomon, which he and I interpret similarly: the most erotic piece of scripture, without a doubt. He even acknowledges that Christians are taught that sex is bad when they are young and that shifting from a sex-negative attitude to a sex-positive attitude at the moment of marriage is not likely to happen without conscious effort.

Joe Beam is still a conservative Christian. I’m sure he still thinks that me and mine will be cast into the lake of fire. I’m sure he thinks I’m a living abomination. I know he is sexist to the bone.

I do not expect the world to ever be free of assholes who believe that their way is the only way and who will try to limit the freedoms of others because of this belief. They’re not going away. People have always been that mean and ignorant and stupid and probably always will be. On the other hand, there’s always hope that it can get better. The fact that Joe Beam is out there doing his work makes me feel a little better, and that counts. I really do believe that people who are happier themselves spend less time trying to stop other people from being happy.