Laurie Toby Edison

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The Power of Fat People Is Extraordinary

Laurie and Debbie say:

We’re the first to admit that fat people are powerful. But the United Kingdom’s popular tabloid, The Sun, is giving fat people more power than even we would have guessed.

Scientists warned that the increase in big-eaters means more food production — a major cause of CO2 gas emissions warming the planet.

The environmental impact of fat humans is made even worse because they are more likely to travel by car — another major cause of carbon emissions.

Our favorite sentence: “The scientists say providing extra grub for them to guzzle adds to carbon emissions that heat up the world, melting polar ice caps, raising sea levels and killing rain forests.”

Wow! With that kind of power, fat people can do anything! Fat people can create world peace! Free universal health care on demand! Affordable space travel! A cure for the common cold! We can even make everyone agree on which way the toilet paper roll should face!

We’re not going to bother to debunk the non-facts in the article. The statistics are wrong, the conclusions are wrong, and the math is wrong. It’s all just wrong. And it’s absurdly silly.

Let’s not forget that these cheap and easy articles are read by millions of people, and they have real power in fueling fat hatred around the globe. Making a scapegoat for global warming that is anything other than the industries pouring billions of tons of shit into the air is bad for the planet, and encouraging hatred is bad for everyone. We’d much rather be curing the common cold.

Thanks to Patti for the pointer.

One Response to “The Power of Fat People Is Extraordinary”

  1. Patti Says:

    The real problem is that the facts are superficially plausible. If you know nothing about the subject and read the article without a critical eye, you may believe it.

    Actually, come to think of it, there’s probably just the tiniest nugget of truth buried in it. However, my pulled-out-of-my-ass estimate is that the magnitude would be something like a thousandth of a percent of CO2 production, rather than the 4% or so that they estimate.

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