Laurie Toby Edison

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My Lube Is Mine, and Your Lube Is, Well, Diet Sweetener

Debbie says:

No, really.

These are not only real products, these are (two) real TV commercials. Interestingly enough, however, this combination product is not on KY’s website. Maybe it’s new? You can buy it at drugstore.com, and as far as I can tell, it is only sold in a two-pack. (Yes, I know. More on that below.)

We are fortunate that Rachel from Women’s Health News read the labels:

I’ve recently been seeing commercials for KY Yours & Mine, and was curious enough to read the package. The “Yours” is supposed to be “for him” and the “Mine” is supposed to be “for her,” so I will now refer to them as “his” and “hers.”We’re going to leave aside for now the obviously problematic nature of assuming all sex takes place between “him” and “her.”

We will also leave out the obviously problematic nature of assuming that all lube is purchased by women (“mine”) for men (“yours”).

Get this: his has sweeteners – honey and sucralose (which is Splenda!) – while hers has “fragrance.” Seriously. Hers does not have sweeteners, and his does not have “fragrance.”

Now, I suppose it’s possible that the other ingredients in his just taste terrible and need some help, and the other ingredients in hers smell bad and also need a boost. The message I’m going to walk away with, though, because I think it’s more likely, is that his (and only his) body is for tasting while hers is naturally stinky.

Yep. The real take-away message here is about whose mouth is “supposed to” go on whose body parts. For reference, the lube closest to hand (Liquid Silk) does not have anything that is obviously either a sweetener or a fragrance in its ingredient list.

My first thought when I saw this was, “if I was going to buy those, I would so try switching them around!” My guess was that “his” (or “yours”) contained some kind of topical stiffener and “hers” (or “mine”) maybe some kind of extra softener?

But now that I’ve read Rachel, not so much. In fact, not at all. If Splenda makes semen taste as bad as it does, say, meringue, I want none of it. And if the “fragrance” is anything like most perfumed products, you can keep it away from my vajayjay. Feminine hygiene deodorants have mostly gone the way of the dodo bird, and I’d rather have dodo birds back, thank you.

I leave you with one parting question: assuming that there is anyone who wants these products, and that they aren’t as repulsive as they sound, isn’t KY missing a market? Shouldn’t there be “yours and yours” and “mine and mine” packs? And single packages for masturbators? And combinations for three-ways and groups? What about the orgy pack?

Get on it, KY! If you’re onto something about men’s and women’s naughty bits, flaunt it!

Thanks to B.C. Holmes for the link!

9 Responses to “My Lube Is Mine, and Your Lube Is, Well, Diet Sweetener”

  1. Adrian Says:

    Ladies and gentlemen do often have different concerns about sweeteners in personal lubricants. Most sweeteners contribute to yeast infections in women who tend to get such things, while not bothering men (or unusually fortunate women.) This is a concern with sugar/honey, glycerol/glycerine, sorbitol, mannitol, and xylitol. I don’t know if sucralose is close enough to sugar to have the same problem. A braver woman than me would need to experiment. A woman can enjoy sex play with a lubricant that’s slightly risky for vaginal use, but it seems more sensible to market such a product to men.

  2. Twistie Says:

    Great. Perfume.

    I don’t buy perfumed products for my body. Most of them make me break out in rashes, and the scents make me gag.

    Oh, and he doesn’t need sweetening any more than I need perfuming.

    We also both believe in equal treatment.

    And yes, I’d already come to the conclusion that KY doesn’t seem to recognize the joy of gay or lesbian sex or solo flights. I assume that they aren’t thinking much about the fun of menage a trois or more, either, but at least one assumes there’s more than one serving of lube per tube, so it would stretch to polyamory…though if there are more users of one sex than the other, eventually even that gets lopsided.

    KY, for a company that makes it’s main profits off of sex you don’t seem to be thinking very carefully about it.

  3. living400lbs Says:

    I switched to Liquid Silk because it doesn’t have glycerin or other sugars. Most water-based lubes have glycerin, which can encourage yeast infections. I think I’ve had 1 yeast infection in the 5 or so years since I switched.

  4. twilightriver Says:

    I keep seeing the notion that men are at less risk for yeast infections, so it’s ok for their lubes to have sweetners. I have it on good authority from men who have learned the hard way that chocolate sauce does not belong anywhere near any orifice, including theirs.

    There are flavored lubes designed specifically for use during oral play. They are not gender specific.

    Even so, the KY “for him” is marketed in such a way that it’s going to end up inside her because most heterosexual sex is assumed to include penetration. Thus “when they combine,” presumably inside her, it makes them ballroom dance, if you get their drift.

    I would certainly hope that Splenda does not contribute to yeast infections in that case.

  5. Mary Kay Says:

    I adore the idea of an orgy pack! I want to see it on the helves of my local Walgreens.

    That aside — sweetening a cock and the stuff that comes out if it is gross. Now ketchup….

    MKK–apparently in a silly mood

  6. bruisedPetals Says:

    twilightriver, I was confused as to how the guy would feel it when they combined. Then I remembered that some people don’t use condoms…

  7. Mel Says:

    HONEY?! PERFUME?! In what UNIVERSE is it a good idea to put those on sex organs?!

    I’m going to stick with my sugar-free, unscented, non-internal-chemistry-damaging lube manufactured by non-sexist companies.

  8. Karen Says:

    And besides all that–puhlease, pink and blue?

  9. Lizzie Says:

    You had me till you used that stupid word “vajayjay”. Give it some dignity, please.

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