Laurie Toby Edison

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Dildos and Douches: Now In Medically Safe Stainless Steel

Debbie and Laurie say:

Apparently, this ad was the source of hilarity in the BlogHer offices yesterday; we also got some good laughs and thought we’d share our amusement with you.

Here’s the device itself:

dildo-shaped stainless steel shower douche device

Using stainless steel with running water is a recognized method of eliminating the volatile sulfur compounds (VSC) that cause odor. The combination of a stainless steel soap bar and tap water is used by chefs as the most effective way to eliminate odors such as garlic, onions and fish from the hands of food preparers. WaterWorks uses the same principle to reduce or eliminate vaginal odor.

Vaginal odor is caused by an imbalance in the vaginal ecosystem.

In case you didn’t know (we didn’t until recently), there’s nothing “stainless” (or magic) about stainless steel. The words were originally meant as “stain less” as opposed to “stain free.” As for the “imbalance in the vaginal ecosystem,” well, maybe. But do they have to make it sound so much like a tidepool?

Anyway, what we have here is a steel dildo that will, for the fairly reasonable price of $30, do double duty as a warm-water douche. That’s all. So, appreciate their copywriting:

WaterWorks does not cause the vaginal health problems that are associated with over-the-counter douching products. It does not use any detergents or harsh chemicals that can potentially irritate the vagina, nor does it use a high-pressure flow that can wash away good bacteria and upset the vaginal ecosystem. WaterWorks has been thoroughly researched for over six years to ensure its general safety and has been clinically proven to cause no serious adverse effects.

Water will get you clean! Who knew?

In addition, regular use after sexual intercourse may reduce the incidence of infection by removing the pH-altering semen as well as any newly introduced pathogens.

Semen is bad for your vagina! Or leaving it there afterwards is bad. Or something. But …

WaterWorks should not be used by women who have vaginal odor caused by vaginal infection

So this device will help prevent infection, but it won’t cure it. Another amazing little-understood property of water and washing!

WaterWorks … innovations prevent bad bacteria from being pushed farther into the vagina as well as preventing the washing away of good bacteria. WaterWorks patented shape also has special channels which prevent damming up of the water and enhance rapid drainage.

Gotta love the way this thing can tell “good bacteria” from “bad bacteria.” We thought you needed, at least, a centrifuge. As for the patented shape, you saw the picture. Good Vibrations doesn’t, as far as we know, sell stainless steel dildos. Maybe they’re missing a bet?

Yes, as far as we can tell, this is a real product. And yes, as far as we can tell, they don’t know how funny their ad is.

Thanks to badgerbag for the link.

14 Responses to “Dildos and Douches: Now In Medically Safe Stainless Steel”

  1. Lorelei Says:

    Stainless-steel dildos and butt plugs are available in a lot of places. Though somewhat pricy and occasionally very heavy, they often look like gorgeous modern sculptures.

    I’m sure this one will soon be adopted by those who want an insertable that can ejaculate. It might even be good for anal use. Essentially, it’s designed as a one-quart enema for your pussy.

  2. Eema-le Says:

    I don’t understand the obsession with vaginal odor. I can only speak for myself, but unless I need to seek medical attention, my “lady business” smells just fine and dandy. A vagina isn’t supposed to smell like roses, lavender, or vanilla, it’s supposed to smell like vagina.

    I also wanted to mention a TV ad that always pisses me off. I can’t remember which “feminine hygiene” product it pushes, but it really obnoxious. It shows a woman looking into a mirror and seeing herself look all a mess, with a hoodie on, which she then pulls tight to cover her face. All because of vaginal odor. I say, go see a doctor if things are so smell that you have to dress like the unibomber.

    I want to see some “male hygiene” products. Why don’t men feel compelled to make their balls smell spring fresh?

  3. Ducky Says:

    “I say, go see a doctor if things are so smell that you have to dress like the unibomber.”

    Hahahaha!!

    *snort*

  4. Serene Says:

    It’s not healthy to clean away the internal stuff that’s going on inside the vagina.

    http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/490338
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4598062.stm

  5. janet lafler Says:

    Like every other orifice, the vagina normally contains lots of bacteria, and if the balance of bacteria is healthy then it smells fine and doesn’t itch. But if you douche/wash etc. you can throw this balance off. This causes bacterial vaginosis, which really does make your vagina smell bad, as well as increasing your susceptibility to STDs and the risk of complications if you’re pregnant. Washing with water is, at best, unnecessary. Washing with anything else is a very VERY very bad idea.

    It’s a vicious cycle. You douche because you’ve been told you smell bad; this causes bacterial vaginosis, which makes you smell bad, so you douche some more.

  6. OLD GUY Says:

    From a mans perspective, most men I talk to enjoy the smell that is associated with a healthy vagina. But if the balance is compromised, oral sex can be repulsive. Many of the women I have been with did not understand their body, specifically the vagina. They weren’t in tune with how their hormones, diet, excercise and good sex interacted in a healthy vagina.

  7. Lady Who Suffers Says:

    I am a 34 year old woman and have had a problem my whole life with vaginal odor—not BV kind of odor but another musty kind of fishy smell. It is not an infection and my doctor’s don’t do anything and say there isn’t a treatment. I found Waterworks and within 2 weeks it was gone. I couldn’t believe it. I feel free and not ashamed during sex anymore. Until you suffer with this problem, you can’t know, and it’s not a joke. I also think it will be good for other women who need to maintain their vaginal ph for other problems. So don’t joke until you’ve experienced the humiliation!

  8. Another Lady Who Suffers Says:

    Thanks to “Lady Who Suffers”. I was happy to see that someone had the same problem that I am having. Thank you for sharing your story. I can’t wait to start using Waterworks.

  9. Missing his journeys south... Says:

    I don’t know if this really works but it was promoted on the television show “The Doctors” today and I’m curious enough to try it. In the last three months, I have developed an odor that makes me very self-conscious when having sex. My boyfriend is a great guy and has never said a word about it – but he also isn’t going down anymore. I miss it. Daily washing, weekly douching, old wives’ remedies like eating pineapple regularly have not worked at all. I can’t stand my own smell. It’s too musky and too strong and I know I don’t have an infection (yep, I asked my doctor to check). I just have this smell. I’m game to try it. At the very least, I’ll get off every day and at the very best, my man will be journeying to the nether regions again! What the hell? In the realm of all that happens in the bedroom, this is not the strangest thing there is…though I have to admit that the commercial had me laughing out loud.

  10. kayley Says:

    i’m a cert. RN midwife…there’s nothing wrong with douching OCCASIONALLY, the problem has always been with using anything other than plain water and how OTC douche kits are forceful, which is bad. Waterworks gives you the ability to cleanse yourself in a safe and gentle manner. the water is not being forced in, rather is cleaning as it drains. also, being made of stainless steel it helps keep the bacteria in check while not harming the good lactobacilus. while most women don’t NEED to douche, some, like me, do. after sex, sperm is left in the vagina and for many will neutralize the acidity needed to keep a healthy ph balance. other things like lubes, saliva, etc can also cause problems. gently rinsing can help you avoid some uncomfortable irritations. many women even find that normal menstrual blood can be irritating if not rinsed occasionally over the course of a period.

  11. dani Says:

    THANKgod there is something that may work. i have been plagued with strong odor since my teens (now 31) and it has always bugged me. we’ll c if it works.

  12. Laura Says:

    I’m 63 and have suffered from odor since puberty. They offer a money-back guarantee, so I only risk the s&h by trying it. I’m going to do it.

    BTW I don’t need a dildo but I do want odor relief. What’s so funny about that?

  13. Donna Says:

    I’ve had hpv surgery about 6 months ago and also went off BC around the same time. Since I was put on so many antibiotics and now hormonally imbalanced I’m finding I have a much stronger odor. I’ve been to my doctor to see if there maybe was an infection and nothing was found. I just started a new relationship and I fear the smell may repel him from going down on me, then I saw a commercial for Waterworks and started researching immediately.
    I’m going to order my Waterworks right now thanks to my research and to the statements above from the ladies who have tried and approved it:)
    For the people laughing, try living in our shoes for a bit and you’ll realize that this is something that plagues your self-esteem.

  14. Marlene Says:

    I can attest to the effect of stainless. Rubbing your hands with a stainless spoon under running water gets rid of the smell after a serious crab or lobster feast.

    More fun to point out is that this is nothing new (except maybe the assertions about odor and vaginal use). This stuff has been around for years (scroll down and NSFW).

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