Laurie Toby Edison

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A fat Husband is a faithful husband

Laurie says:

This post on “How to Be a Good Christian Wife” (Thank you Ilyka Damen) is so far out on the curve that it achieves the surreal. I know that it’s a world lots of folks live in, but they are still living in Surreal World..

I love “ALWAYS serve fresh orange juice. Only whores use frozen.”

In Surreal World “A fat Husband is a faithful husband” (the Husband always rates a capital H) and “a fat man is a faithful man.” (Wives don’t rate a capital w and men don’t rate a capital m; that’s reserved for Husbands and God.) I am somewhat confused by the instructions to the wife. “DO NOT PIG OUT. Always leave the table a little bit hungry to maintain both your figure and your dignity.”

Is not a fat wife a faithful wife? This confusion is amplified by the good wife saying ” A fat man falls asleep fast.”

I wonder what the thin and (logically therefore) unfaithful wife is doing when the Husband is asleep. Why is she spending so much time making Him all those rich desserts while staying unfaithfully thin herself?

Where and to whom does she go while her fat faithful Husband sleeps, replete with his rich home-made desserts?

And since ” Only whores initiate sex,” I assume this all has something to do with frozen orange juice.

<br /> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/men" rel="tag">men</a><br /> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/women" rel="tag">women</a><br /> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/feminism" rel="tag">feminism</a><br /> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/marriage" rel="tag">marriage</a><br /> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/fat" rel="tag">fat</a><br /> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/sex" rel="tag">sex</a><br /> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Christianity" rel="tag">Christianity</a><br /> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Christian+women" rel="tag">Christian women</a><br /> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Body+Impolitic" rel="tag">Body Impolitic</a><br />

10 Responses to “A fat Husband is a faithful husband”

  1. Victoria Says:

    Oh my. Um…that’s just really really REALLY sad. Sounds somewhat sadistic.

  2. Stef Says:

    If you can convince me that post isn’t deliberate parody, I’ll eat a brussels sprout. Did you see the photo of the blogger in question?

  3. jadelennox Says:

    it *is* a deliberate parody. It took me a while to track it down, but there’s some self-referential mocking going back and forth between Annie’s other blog (linked on the site) and Sadly, No! Shoelimpy, another poster on the blog, has been posting instructions to troll liberal blogs’ open threads.

    Though in general, I think parody that needs to be hunted down in order to be proved it’s parody is somewhat other than funny.

  4. Laurie Says:

    I’m with jadelennox about parody that has to be hunted down.

    Deb and I did look at that but clearly not hard enough and probably in too much haste.

    But there is other stuff out there that resembles this way too much and is both real(true) and truely surreal.

    And it gave me an opportunity to be silly – I don’t get nearly enough of those.

  5. badgermama Says:

    Oh for sure it’s a parody! Brilliant!!!

  6. Karen Says:

    Actually, what gave it away to me as a parody was the George W. Bush quote on the blog header:

    “Our nation must come together to unite.”

    Clearly they are poking fun here.

  7. Lynne Murray Says:

    I laughed. But I also laughed at the squabbling among the commenters. I also laughed (AFTER, NOT DURING) a conversation this week with a woman who called where I work and asked if we were “a Christian company.” (Something about the logo made her think that the graphic was indicating that in a subtle way.) Her question surprised me enough that I said, “No, we’re quite diverse.” (Which is true. The owner being Jewish, myself being Buddhist, and the various subcontractors being Christian, Moslem, Atheist, and..I think a few Wiccans.) Afterwards I realized that, while I think of “diverse” as a good thing, it was a bad thing from her point of view, because she was trying to see if we were on her wavelength and sorry to hear we were not.

    To me, the “good wife” posting was funny in a sad way, whether intentionally so or not because so many women are overwhelmed, look for guidance and get the “sing while you slave and polish those chains” message. The commenters were funny with their “I’ll pray for you,” “Okay, then, I’ll think for you” sniping, because they’re never going to find any common ground and yet they appear to enjoy bashing each other soundly. And my own phone call was funny because, her question, “Are you a Christian” was essentially answered as, “Hell, no.” Sigh, the humanity of it all.

  8. jaeleslie Says:

    I am with you on the question of whether parody that has to be hunted down says anything other than what it appears on the face of it. This after staying up way too late last night to read the comments and links on that blog.

    I have come to the conclusion that the person who wrote it is probably not a mom, and possibly not even married — long enough to have actually tested her theories, although these are very possibly the true opinions of a young person who has not had reality challenge her on these matters very much.

  9. Pearl Says:

    Lol, sounds like a http://landoverbaptist.org/ Landover Baptist production. Oh the obscure rules of mindtraps we make for ourselves that go unexamined as virtues.

  10. Caroline Says:

    Great. My husband is 43, and for 20 years I couldn’t get him to watch his weight. A series of tests just revealed he now has heart disease. He might be faithful, but now that the kids are almost out on their own, he’s not well. Being overweight has serious long-term effects.

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