Dildos and Douches: Now In Medically Safe Stainless Steel

Debbie and Laurie say:

Apparently, this ad was the source of hilarity in the BlogHer offices yesterday; we also got some good laughs and thought we’d share our amusement with you.

Here’s the device itself:

dildo-shaped stainless steel shower douche device

Using stainless steel with running water is a recognized method of eliminating the volatile sulfur compounds (VSC) that cause odor. The combination of a stainless steel soap bar and tap water is used by chefs as the most effective way to eliminate odors such as garlic, onions and fish from the hands of food preparers. WaterWorks uses the same principle to reduce or eliminate vaginal odor.

Vaginal odor is caused by an imbalance in the vaginal ecosystem.

In case you didn’t know (we didn’t until recently), there’s nothing “stainless” (or magic) about stainless steel. The words were originally meant as “stain less” as opposed to “stain free.” As for the “imbalance in the vaginal ecosystem,” well, maybe. But do they have to make it sound so much like a tidepool?

Anyway, what we have here is a steel dildo that will, for the fairly reasonable price of $30, do double duty as a warm-water douche. That’s all. So, appreciate their copywriting:

WaterWorks does not cause the vaginal health problems that are associated with over-the-counter douching products. It does not use any detergents or harsh chemicals that can potentially irritate the vagina, nor does it use a high-pressure flow that can wash away good bacteria and upset the vaginal ecosystem. WaterWorks has been thoroughly researched for over six years to ensure its general safety and has been clinically proven to cause no serious adverse effects.

Water will get you clean! Who knew?

In addition, regular use after sexual intercourse may reduce the incidence of infection by removing the pH-altering semen as well as any newly introduced pathogens.

Semen is bad for your vagina! Or leaving it there afterwards is bad. Or something. But …

WaterWorks should not be used by women who have vaginal odor caused by vaginal infection

So this device will help prevent infection, but it won’t cure it. Another amazing little-understood property of water and washing!

WaterWorks … innovations prevent bad bacteria from being pushed farther into the vagina as well as preventing the washing away of good bacteria. WaterWorks patented shape also has special channels which prevent damming up of the water and enhance rapid drainage.

Gotta love the way this thing can tell “good bacteria” from “bad bacteria.” We thought you needed, at least, a centrifuge. As for the patented shape, you saw the picture. Good Vibrations doesn’t, as far as we know, sell stainless steel dildos. Maybe they’re missing a bet?

Yes, as far as we can tell, this is a real product. And yes, as far as we can tell, they don’t know how funny their ad is.

Thanks to badgerbag for the link.

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