Laurie and Debbie say:
Jezebel offers a short, sweet, and pointed piece (part of a terrific series) on the trend toward vaginoplasty and labiaplasty in contemporary plastic surgery.
“… the aim is to surgically ‘correct’ womens’ labia to look one specific way. But, like, if ‘designer vaginas’ all look the same, doesn’t that make them generic? And if so, doesn’t that technically make them designer impostors?”
In conversation, Serenejournal called them “knock-offs.” And that got us thinking about the journalists at the fashion show …
“Number 12, Misty, features the au courant off-center look, with the right side larger than the left. While this look has been criticized as controversial, it’s especially popular this year, and you may just see some of the high-society babes sporting it.”
“Number 17, LaRhona, is in a more classic style that sets off that chocolate color to perfection. Some perfect shapes just never go out of fashion … just the kind of thing she’ll be proud to wear under a timeless little black thong.”
“Number 23, Felicia. Well, this was a popular look in 2005. But honey, I just don’t see it working now. The lines are so much cleaner now, and there’s just no room for those extra curves. More than a little lipo was called for, don’t you think? I sure do hope Felicia got a rebate for her next redesign.”
And that, of course, leads to the conversations in the waiting rooms and recovery rooms:
“I got mine done a few years ago, and I was really pleased with the results. My dear, the compliments! But now, you know how it is. Fashions have changed, and I’m just not in the new wave. So I’ve scheduled myself for next month. Do you think off-center is too risque?”
“I’m so upset! I paid top dollar for the best in the business, and my daughter’s room-mate got a cheap job done in one of those assembly line places and you know what? They look exactly the same! I’m suing that quack and getting every cent of my money back.”
The very concept of a “perfect vagina” is, of course, nonsense. Each one is different, as they should be. The pornographer that Jezebel consulted was able to identify four different general types (and, after all, he sees more of a particular cross-section of vaginas than most people). What we call a “perfect vagina,” like a perfect breast, nose, or even whole body, is really some smoothed out, depersonalized version of one particular woman. Guaranteed, the proportions aren’t even right for everyone.
Jezebel’s visit to a female labioplasty physician also confirms what we suspected:
She also informed me of some very crucial info that the dude doctor failed to relay, regarding damaging the nerves of my clit (aka my livelihood!), should I go through with any surgery to my labia majora.
You know, I thought that first doctor’s idea of lip lipo sounded sort of insane. I watch Discovery Health Channel. Lipo is a violent procedure. I imagine it would ransack your property downtown.
Thanks to Lori S. for the pointer.