This post on “How to Be a Good Christian Wife” (Thank you Ilyka Damen) is so far out on the curve that it achieves the surreal. I know that it’s a world lots of folks live in, but they are still living in Surreal World..
I love “ALWAYS serve fresh orange juice. Only whores use frozen.”
In Surreal World “A fat Husband is a faithful husband” (the Husband always rates a capital H) and “a fat man is a faithful man.” (Wives don’t rate a capital w and men don’t rate a capital m; that’s reserved for Husbands and God.) I am somewhat confused by the instructions to the wife. “DO NOT PIG OUT. Always leave the table a little bit hungry to maintain both your figure and your dignity.”
Is not a fat wife a faithful wife? This confusion is amplified by the good wife saying ” A fat man falls asleep fast.”
I wonder what the thin and (logically therefore) unfaithful wife is doing when the Husband is asleep. Why is she spending so much time making Him all those rich desserts while staying unfaithfully thin herself?
Where and to whom does she go while her fat faithful Husband sleeps, replete with his rich home-made desserts?
And since ” Only whores initiate sex,” I assume this all has something to do with frozen orange juice.